This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
