I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
