Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You smell like stripper and shame
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
