i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize