I cockslap morals
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
