perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
