SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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