"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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