i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
