i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Acid is not a monday night drug
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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