If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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