Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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