absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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