I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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