Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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