I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize