Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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