A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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