a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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