it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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