I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
