thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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