i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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