he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
