it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
that's an acceptable place to lick
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
