we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize