my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
