very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
