I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
