That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
