I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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