I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
