No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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