she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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