conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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