okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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