when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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