There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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