Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
