she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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