dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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