So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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