I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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