can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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