It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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