his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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