Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize