she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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