careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So vagazzling was a success
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
