Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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