she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
