I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
