One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just high enough for therapy.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I smell like Dick and happiness
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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