marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
