I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
