nutella sex= disaster
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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