tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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