So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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