And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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