That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
