Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
