just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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