I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
