Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
