conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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