Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
