Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
