You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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