If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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