I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
When are your genitals available?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
