Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
