I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
